So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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