Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
