whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
