I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
