Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
