I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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