Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
