Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
