I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
