You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
