Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
