I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
