Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
