he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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