Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
