He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
