At least make sure they are 18
Why
Betty ford says i'm here all night
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize