this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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