He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
