Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
