K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
