when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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