carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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