I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Welp...herpes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
