nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
