there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
