If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
