Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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