So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
