Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
