He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
