What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
