Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
