Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
