dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
