Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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