drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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