So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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