How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
