he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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