Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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