Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
