Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
