Don't make out with my wife yet
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
