Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
