His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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