just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dignity is for republicans.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
