We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
