Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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