We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
